I am the mother and primary care giver of an intellectually disabled person. Before I became this mother, I was a daughter, wife and mother to two pre-schoolers. I never imagined having a child who was disabled. If anyone had asked me "Could you cope?" I would have said no. When our child's disability was finally diagnosed (he wasn't born with any syndrome just one of those things) we made the decision that we hadn't chosen this and nor had he so, we were in it together.After the initial relief of someone believing me that there was something wrong with him, that I wasn't just being dramatic, the first emotion I remember was guilt. Had I taken something? Done something to cause this? Was I being punished for something I had done in the past? Those feelings still persist today. I was fortunate to have an elderly mother who loved me and my family 100% and was very supportive while she was well enough. This kept me sane. We have met many wonderful people (some paid, some volunteers) who have helped make life easier I am full of admiration and gratitude to these caring, generous people. My son is now an adult, and I am officially elderly. We once again face many challenges. We have made the decision to place our son into residential care and want to organise this now while we are still able. This is not easy. Proper placement has to be found etc, and this experience has left me feeling powerless. Waiting and waiting for decisions to be made by other people. This is a very difficult time. My daughter-in-law and her friends complain about transporting their children to sport etc; and I think to myself, here I am still transporting him to everything he does. Parents of children without intellectual disabilities don't give a thought to things like still having someone waiting outside the bathroom door for you. Cutting toenails, organising haircuts, medication and money matters day after day. There is no break from these responsibilities as others have when their children grow up and become independent. This is not a "poor me" story, but I hope others might identify with some of the emotions and know that you aren't on your own. There are a lot of us out there, and now there is support just for us too.